20. Noble Accoutrements

20 weeks in Babyland have been made possible by many key ingredients gifted from friends and the occasional stranger. Patience, zip-up jammies, burp cloths, the Boppy Lounger, our Kanaluti carrier and a slobbery mountain of other things have guided us through the fourth trimester. We've just moved into our 2 day supply of Bumgenius Freetime diapers, started latching without a nipple shield, (!), and have officially sized out of newborn-sized shoes. Thanks to increased confidence and muscle definition we are no longer plagued by pitiful bouts of crying face down. This baby has lift.

She is easily entertained by buzzing, adults brushing their teeth and - shocker! - anything with a screen. She's started splashing in the bathtub, sitting contentedly, sucking her thumb and pawing her hair for comfort, using her slimy fingers to shellac her hair into charming configurations. At bedtime she gets a massage, coconut oil on her calloused knees and elbows, a 5oz bottle, a few books and some drooly bang time on the ukelele.

Now that she requires more room to roll around before dropping off, we've upgraded from a bassinet to the spacious Guava Lotus travel crib for all sleep sessions. Of the stack of blankets she's received, mine from '83 is the one that fits it perfectly. I'll wait while you admire my shapely Calvin Kleins.

She's finally started to pack on some meat, no doubt from indulging in extra helpings of bath bubbles.

I believe we must congratulate Beyonce again: she's been busy in the studio cooking up The Carter Twins. If what I know about skin is true, we might see some stretch marks on this next album. Lube up all you want Bey, twins that make it close to 40 weeks are more than likely to leave some marks in the [fossil] record. I slathered on Burt's Bees Belly Butter morning and night, but at 37 weeks I woke up and there they were. Growing stains are a part of many post natal life styles, however, and what eventually fades with age will burn red and puckered in my heart forever. Awwww!

So, you're looking for a baby carrier, or perhaps you have a small dog in diapers with attachment issues? I'm shining my light on Kanaluti carriers, the brainchild of my old pal down Houston way. She gifted me a brand new "Elements" carrier, featuring breathable mesh for a Texas summer-friendly carry. Quick on and off with military-grade buckles and webbing, this is truly comfortable and so adjustable my husband and I can swap it without rolling our eyes too hard while strapping in.

Till next time, friends. 

Remember to grab your dreams with both hands.