Dear Noble,
Hi!
If you're reading this then you've mastered the skills I am now trying to teach you. You're in school-from-home, pre K! You've been at it virtually for almost a month, tracing cursive letters, matching, identifying, sweeping, wiping, drawing, counting and forgoing in person learning while Covid-19 rages on.
When I was a little girl I didn't have much access to global pandemics, quarantines, or iPads, so I have to congratulate you for so intrepidly charging ahead, especially when we have to impose iPad breaks. You dream a lot about what we'll do when the sickness is over, and I love that you can see all the way to the other side of this, which reminds me how fatalistic I am, and how very optimistic you are.
You're the happiest thing I've ever been friends with. You remind me to let things go, draw things in, hold them close and set them free, every day. You've watched a lot of tv this year, which is highly convenient for me and ferociously habit-forming for you. Even if you are playing a game on a device I feel guilty, like I haven't made enough of an effort to edify your world view, to build your make believe muscles, or to just give you a blank space to create in. Then I remember how much I learned from tv, how relaxing it was to learn by observing, how much independence comes with learning technology and how much I need to treat my mom brain to some well-deserved "quiet". If you should grow up to be a mommy, I will try to remind you of this when you feel shame for putting your kid in the nanny spacepod, or whatever it is you default to when you need to nap or think or poop in peace.
Today you are four, and here's what you did.
You woke up and went straight to playing with the birthday presents Gigi gave you, and shared them with Wiley, your constant birthday companion. We rented a beach house with our friends and family for the weekend, so you had lots of salty adventures in Surfside with all your favorite people (save for Wolfie) ate lots of cupcakes and ran back and forth through the beach house to your heart's content. When we left the beach it was for another gift -surprise!- a back yard trampoline at home. I don't know how long you've been wishing for one, but my wait has been on for over 30 years. Thank you for making my dream a reality by super charging your lust for life when you haven't had enough exercise at the end of the day! Home recreational equipment and melatonin really keep this ship afloat.
Let me tell you, your pranks make everything really zing. Just a few days ago I was making your cupcakes, rainbow tie-dye creations that I spent many spoonfuls of patience on, and when I pulled them out of the oven I was overwhelmed with fun when I saw you had turned the oven from 350 to broil!!! When we got home from our trip and I found the freezer melting, I just knew you'd zinged me before we left town by turning the fridge dial to "off" for maximum entertainment! Don't get me started on your invisible socks, disappearing gum routine, or your razzle dazzle defiance when I ask you to clean up. You are a super chatty, "potty-trained" cyclone of non stop amusement and I can't wait to see what you'll do next!
I love you, you are wonderful. You are, hands down, the best snuggle I've ever had. Please remember how I adore you when I'm juggling morality, parenting tropes, patience, impatience and your relationship with cause and effect.
I love you, Noble. You are a maniac and very sweet about it.
Fondly,
Mom
